This is a simple recipe...

Have you ever heard that statement when watching a cooking show?  I have, and let me tell you something, the recipes are rarely simple.  It's so frustrating.  Cooking shows, baking shows, food competition shows, and documentaries are guilty pleasures of mine.   And, inevitably, when I'm watching one of my favorites they will entice me with the dish and tell me how easy it is to make.  Let us dissect their theories for a bit, shall we?

Ingredients:

2 cups of fat-free organic beef stock
1/2 cup of vegetable stock
1/2 cup of shrimp stock
4 oz of shark steak (julianned)
1 free range cornish hen
3 cloves of minced garlic
3/4 cup pecorino, grated
1 to 2 tablespoons black currant jam
3/4 cup red wine
6 oz of strawberries (juiced to yield 3 oz of liquid)
1 lb of truffles
1 cup of grapeseed oil
Roasted duck fat
Breadcrumbs made from homemade rosemary and parmesan  bread
2 cups of pumpkin seeds (dried)
7 grams of semi-sweet chocolate (melted)
1 package of extra firm tofu (diced into 1-inch cubes/deep fried in panko)
8 large sprigs epazote, 5 coarsely chopped, 3 left whole

 Prep time:  10 minutes

Recipes with ingredients like this are just absurd.   I'm convinced that these types of recipes aren't even real.  It's just the chef/cook doing a bit of self-preservation.  They are banking on the fact that once most people see the ingredient list, they'll avoid making it at all costs and proclaim the chef/cook a genius.

Now, lets just assume that you've been able to acquire the list of ingredients above.  Now you have to dice, julienne, roast, fry, saute, glaze, stuff, infuse, marinate, braise, sear, thicken, deglaze, puree, blanche, steam, stuff, and steep to make the dish.  You'll have to run to youtube and google just to learn what half of those techniques are before you even begin.

You will need a whole kitchen's showroom of appliances and gadgets to make the dish. 


Try our slideshow creator at Animoto.


By the time you've acquired the ingredients/gadgets, used your appliances and fancy techniques, you've spent $1000.  I don't know about you, but I'd rather just spend that kind of money on a cruise and eat all the fancy dishes I want on board. The icing on the cake is that I won't even have to do the dishes. 


Smooches!