"I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse."

One thing that I've learned about myself is that food is a huge motivator.  Apparently, my loved ones were aware of that long before I came to that epiphany.  For a long time I was unaware that I was being manipulated by my loved ones.  I happily went along with each request and looked forward to my hearty reward afterward.  Someone could ask me to paint their whole house and promise me free entry into a crab crack and I'd probably work all day without complaint.  


One day my mother called to tell me that she was making liver, gravy, onions, and rice.  This may not sound like a mouth-watering meal, but you've never had my mom's liver and onions.  Anyway, she asked me if I wanted to come over to get a plate of food.  I was already looking for my keys by then so I assured her that I'd be there in no time.  


This was in the early 2000s when Bluetooth headsets and cellphones weren't given to people straight out the womb.  So, when I forgot to end the call on my headset and my mother forgot to end the call on her cell phone, I heard her telling my father that she was going to trick me into doing chores.  I was livid!  She even had the audacity to laugh at her cunning ways.  Right then I made up my mind to hang up and call her right back to tell her I'd changed my mind.  I would not be coming to her house after all.  However, I heard her mentioning food again.  




All was forgotten.  




I did the chores.  




I got my treat.

Smooches!

This is a simple recipe...

Have you ever heard that statement when watching a cooking show?  I have, and let me tell you something, the recipes are rarely simple.  It's so frustrating.  Cooking shows, baking shows, food competition shows, and documentaries are guilty pleasures of mine.   And, inevitably, when I'm watching one of my favorites they will entice me with the dish and tell me how easy it is to make.  Let us dissect their theories for a bit, shall we?

Ingredients:

2 cups of fat-free organic beef stock
1/2 cup of vegetable stock
1/2 cup of shrimp stock
4 oz of shark steak (julianned)
1 free range cornish hen
3 cloves of minced garlic
3/4 cup pecorino, grated
1 to 2 tablespoons black currant jam
3/4 cup red wine
6 oz of strawberries (juiced to yield 3 oz of liquid)
1 lb of truffles
1 cup of grapeseed oil
Roasted duck fat
Breadcrumbs made from homemade rosemary and parmesan  bread
2 cups of pumpkin seeds (dried)
7 grams of semi-sweet chocolate (melted)
1 package of extra firm tofu (diced into 1-inch cubes/deep fried in panko)
8 large sprigs epazote, 5 coarsely chopped, 3 left whole

 Prep time:  10 minutes

Recipes with ingredients like this are just absurd.   I'm convinced that these types of recipes aren't even real.  It's just the chef/cook doing a bit of self-preservation.  They are banking on the fact that once most people see the ingredient list, they'll avoid making it at all costs and proclaim the chef/cook a genius.

Now, lets just assume that you've been able to acquire the list of ingredients above.  Now you have to dice, julienne, roast, fry, saute, glaze, stuff, infuse, marinate, braise, sear, thicken, deglaze, puree, blanche, steam, stuff, and steep to make the dish.  You'll have to run to youtube and google just to learn what half of those techniques are before you even begin.

You will need a whole kitchen's showroom of appliances and gadgets to make the dish. 


Try our slideshow creator at Animoto.


By the time you've acquired the ingredients/gadgets, used your appliances and fancy techniques, you've spent $1000.  I don't know about you, but I'd rather just spend that kind of money on a cruise and eat all the fancy dishes I want on board. The icing on the cake is that I won't even have to do the dishes. 


Smooches!

Early Saturday Morning Breakfasts

I had a wonderful friend when I was a young girl. She lived about a mile south from my house and I would walk over there or she would come to my house practically everyday during our summer breaks from school.

I preferred going to her house because her uncle believed in serving good hearty breakfasts.  He would make things like bacon (turkey for me of course), muffins, pancakes, eggs, omlettes, waffles, biscuits, grits, oatmeal, etc.  I've never been a morning person, but I'd be up with the chickens to get to that kitchen.

Since then, I love having breakfast for dinner.  It's just something about eating delicious breakfast food that puts a smile on my face.  I'll be dreaming of a big country breakfast as I eat my Yoplait yogurt and fruit.

Smooches!

Pizza! Pizza!

I saw someone eating a slice of pepperoni pizza that looked loaded with fat and salt.  The crust was stuffed and I saw cheese oozing out of the sides.  It was so greasy that it was dripping down her arm.  How could she eat that slice of death in public..............and not share with anyone?  Come on, dude!  That's so rude.  Ha! I made a little poem there; did you catch my genius....dude...rude?  *Sigh* This is why I'm not a comedian for a living.

You can stop mentally judging me now.  I've put that joke behind me, but I was still thinking about that pizza days after I witnessed her euphoric face after having her first bite.  I have a few local pizza places that serve some awesome pizza.  However, they don't deliver and I was too lazy to drive.  Plus, too much fatty pizza is not good for my skin or my waist line.  This recipe is a healthier alternative that still feels like indulgence.

Ingredients

1 jar of pizza sauce
1/4 cup of Kraft Natural Shredded 2% Milk Reduced Fat Mozzarella Cheese
Diced yellow peppers
Diced red peppers
Diced green peppers
Diced onions
1/4 can of mushrooms diced
Turkey pepperoni slices
1 garlic clove
Italian Seasoning
Pepper
McCormick Garlic Seasoning
Flat Bread or Low-Carb thin pizza crust
Butter or Butter cooking spray




Make your own photo slideshow at Animoto.


Directions

1. Preheat Oven to 425 degrees or whatever temperature it states on your packaged crust/flat bread.

2. Take the garlic clove and rub generously all over the crust

3. Sprinkle Italian seasoning on the crust and then 1 whole serving of pizza sauce (make sure to read your label for the serving size) making sure to leave the edges bare.

4. Sprinkle garlic seasoning, pepper and Italian seasoning on top.

5. Add your cheese, veggies, and 1 whole serving of pepperoni slices (read your label for the serving size)

6. Spray the bare edges with a butter spray or one teaspoon of melted butter

7. Place on a sheet of heavy foil and bake for 20-25 minutes



Smooches!

Random Food Thoughts: Inappropriate or Weird

I always want to eat a hot dog after I watch an episode of Matlock.

I have fond memories of watching the Andy Griffith  Show and Matlock.The way he dragged his words were characteristic of a North Carolinian and as an NC girl myself, I recognized it instantly.  He passed away today and I pray that his friends, family, and fans hold onto the many good memories he left behind.  May he rest in peace.

Smooches!

CAN-asta!

Canned goods should be staples in every kitchen.  They will be your saving grace in the event of an emergency and your power goes out.  As long as you have a manual can opener/sharp knife and some canned goods, you will be able to eat.  But, canned goods are really great for quick and inexpensive meals that have nutritional value. For example, this whole meal only has 8 ingredients and takes only 15 minutes to make.

Ingredients:

1 can of salmon (drained)
1 medium sized egg
1/4 small white onion
1/4 teaspoon of pepper
1 can of sweet peas (drained)
2 pats of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter 
1 can of Glory Foods butter beans
Vegetable oil

Directions:

Salmon croquettes

1.  Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat.
2.  In a medium bowl, mix together salmon, egg, onion, and pepper with a fork.  This will have to break up some of the small/soft bones.
3.  Form the mixture into tangerine sized balls and then flatten into a patty shape
4.  Place in the skillet and fry until you see a dark ring formed along the edges.  Reduce heat to medium, flip the croquettes over and cook until brown on both sides.

Sweet Peas

1. Put peas in a small bowl with two pats of butter
2. Warm in the microwave for 2 minutes

Butter Beans

1. Put butter beans in a small bowl and microwave for 2 minutes




Try our video maker at Animoto.

This meal is quick, simple, and packed with nutritious goodness.  The butter beans are loaded with fiber, iron, and calcium.  The sweet peas are a great source of vitamin A, vitamin B6, vitamin K, and vitamin C.  The canned salmon is the leading lady of this meal. She gives you omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin D, zinc, protein, iron, potassium, and much more.

Smooches!

Must Haves vs. Nice to Haves

I made a lot of mistakes when I started buying pots and pans for my kitchen.  The first set that I bought was my Sophomore year of college when I moved into a dorm with a fully functioning kitchen.  I purchased what I thought was an absolute "must have".  I bought a 10-piece cookware set from K-Mart for about $20.  It had all the pieces in the set pictured below.

I did not use them excessively, in fact, I doubt that I used them more than four times a week.  However, by the time I moved into my first apartment the following year, it was time for a new set.  This time I got one from Walmart.  Another year went by and another set was needed and I purchased it from Target.  Within three years, I'd run through 30 or more pieces of cookware and roughly $80.  It was a total waste of money. 

  

It finally dawned on me that the pots and pans that were still in good condition were all cast-iron hand-me-downs that I got from my mother.  They did not look pretty.  Yet, I had the best results when I used them.  Immediately I rushed to Bed, Bath, and Beyond with my 20% off coupon.  I envisioned that I'd start with the basics.  I'd get a dutch oven, a quart sauce pan, a skillet, and an 8x11 roaster for approximately $50.

I nearly ran out of the store when I saw those prices.  I knew where to go if I needed to find an awesome deal.  I went to a local thrift store and looked for good quality, heavy cookware.  While I wasn't able to find any cast iron that day,  I was able to  get a heavy frying pan that must have been made when my mom was in grade school and a brand new glass 8x11 roaster for $8.  They looked beat up and well used.  After I gave them a good scrubbing I fell in love.  

Beautiful cookware that matches is:

NICE TO HAVE

 

Functional cookware that will last for years and years is: 

A MUST HAVE

Smooches!